Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash
A Very Short Play
Two figures stand alone. The light is dimming and swirls of fog or dust rise with each movement.
1: What was that?
1: That thing…
(Swiping hand in front of face.)
2: I don’t see……. Oh! Ouch! What the fuck was that?!
(Shaking hand as if wiping something good and unexpected off hand.)
(Waving hands around head and upper body.)
Whatever it is it’s annoying as fuck
2: How did we get ourselves into this?
1: I think you said, “Sure, we’ll take the job.” When that weird little guy asked us.
2: Did I ask what the job was first?
2: Humph, I didn’t think so…
(Shrugging shoulders and continuing to wave hands around.)
(The buzzing hum has been gone for a few minutes but #2 continues to wave hands around as though on auto-pilot.)
1: I think you can stop now.
2: What am I doing now?
1: You can stop waving your hands now, that whatever-it-was is gone.
2: Oh. Good. I was getting tired. How’d we get here anyway?
1: Well, I’d say a train or something but I think it was a bus.
1: Yep. One of those old fashioned school-bussy things. Multicoloured.
1: That’s your response? We travel to somewhere who-the-fuck-knows on an ancient multicoloured vehicle that seats 20 and all you can say is, “hunh” ?
(Shaking head and looking disgusted.)
(#1 begins dusting themself off. Clouds of dust rise as #1 brushes themself down, clouds grow bigger and bigger as though adding to the dust rather than subsiding.)
2: (Coughing) Please stop doing that. You’re making it worse!
(The dust cloud has become so thick that we can barely see the characters.)
1: What the hell…….. (coughing). I was brushing it off.. not on!
2: Well it had other ideas. Just stop what you’re doing. Stop waving your hands around like that- you’ll set something on fire.
1: Fire! Where?
2: Nowhere, (sotto voce) yet. Just stop moving for one minute and let’s figure out where we are.
1: And then let’s figure out when we are.
2: Right. I always forget the when part.
1: Why did it have to be so dusty?
2: Can you focus, please? Stop moving. We’ve no idea what’ll happen if you sneeze.
1: Okay. I’ve stopped.
(Standing statue-still and all of a sudden looking like an actual stone statue)
They both remain still as the dust swirls around them, covering and then completely obscuring them.
Fade to black.
– End –