My birthday is coming up and it’s got me Feeling all the FEELS!πŸ₯Ή

woman with birthday candle

It’s all about Transformation!

I’ve never really minded or worried about getting older but this one.. turning 59.. OUCH!! It is definitely hitting me in all the tender places and I’ve been feeling waaaay more out of sorts about it than any other birthday so far.

What I thought to offer to us all… turning 19 or 29 or 39 or… whatever age…. is that we can stop comparing ourselves to our younger versions. We can stop comparing ourselves to the impossible ideals that our culture shoves at us all the time.
We can choose to shift the conversation from what often feels like diminishment to empowerment by naming YES! OUT LOUD!
all the amazing things we have learned & can do & now know or see or understand that we NEVER would have been able to know without -fill in the blank- number of years on this planet. πŸ’™πŸ’πŸŒ

So ….. I’m working on loving this smile of mine, this face that has wrinkles & sun damage & some scars. Loving my body which is still allowing me to hike & do yoga and handstands & have great sex. This mind & heart that open more & more every day… & I invite you to do the same for yourself! Whether it’s your first decade or your seventieth!

It’s a WHOLE LOT about allowing ourselves to transform from the inner to the outer… and then being able to see the outer with fresh eyes. Eyes, (and minds) that don’t compare us to our earlier REMEMBERED versions. Because yah know… memory is a trickster and basically, nothing we remember is ever really how it was… It’s just how we remember it being.

The transformation that is constantly taking place is one we can best navigate internally. Take account of what you know now that you didn’t know 20, 10, or even 2 years ago. Acknowledge the WHO I AM NOW, versus the “who I wanted to think I’d be by now” version of your beautiful, gorgeous self… even when there are plenty f moments when none of us feels beautiful or gorgeous or even passable… (writing with bed-tangled hair, in pajamas, t-shirt, sweatshirt, and L.L. Bean wool socks that almost have holes in them…). There is still a beauty that we inhabit, that we ARE- and we can embrace it.. even it at times.. it all feels a bit prickly in the beginning stages.

It’s funny… (as in ODD funny, not HA HA funny).. that I feel this. I challenged myself to post a ton of selfies on social media in order to get a grip on what I REALLY look like- (rather than what the voice in my head keeps comparing me to… AKA: my 20-year-old self). This birthday has me even MORE introspective than ever before (which if you know me is saying a LOT!)πŸ€“

I’ve never been much for makeup… though I love a good mascara. I tend to wear clothes I can hike or walk my dog in. I own some killer heels and snazzy, body-hugging dresses. There are ALL these various parts of me… most only needing occasions to be shown in public.

We ALL have different parts of ourselves- the ones we love & show more often, the ones we keep close & show only to dear friends, & then the parts we dislike or deny that we HOPE we aren’t showing to anyone…(& I guarantee are sticking out all over the place)🀣

Post- Post:

I’m finding it really interesting the responses to my upcoming birthday posts.
It wasn’t so much about how nervous we all feel getting older, it was more to open a broader conversation about how we put so many restrictions and expectations on ourselves. Our culture definitely sends us each the message that we always have to be striving for certain achievement points by certain ages, in order to “be successful, etc…
I think as we age we get an opportunity to shift that message for ourselves and those around us. e can change the conversation to one of inquiry around how we view ourselves and what we see we now have to offer the world, which we might have needed 40+ years to accumulate and learn.

From One Reader- “When I turned 60 last year it really hit me and caused me great stress. I started wondering what the rest of my life would look like. I wanted to know what impact have I had on the world to this point. And what impacts would I have on the outside world going forward? Would I finish my book? Would I become a better friend or partner? What would I achieve today or tomorrow? How would I get there is the bigger question and the one that I ponder every day. Today at 60 I’m trying to figure out how to reengage in that world, but it seems impossible because the world has changed. So at the moment, I keep doing some internal soul-searching to determine what I want today, tomorrow, next year, or maybe 5 years from now. Lots of questions and so few answers…”

…And aren’t the questions interesting? I’ve been in a period of my life for the past couple years where I’m deep in the seeking, and not quite so interested in aiming for a particular end or answer. I find the questions are what move me more deeply into understanding so long as I give way to them.- Amrita

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