Creating Heart-based Change in Your Life
This month I’ve been diving deeply into understanding what creates real change at the heart level. It’s an exploration that holds a great deal of personal meaning for me. Over the decades, I’ve grappled with various levels of depression and feeling disheartened. Sometimes these arise from specific situations, (pandemic I’m lookin’ at you). At other times, I’ve felt low and disconnected from my heart when a relationship ends, no matter the reason. Pushing myself too hard or to achieve my ideals without a real break to synthesize and live into the changes, has often been a source of anguish; as has not allowing myself to have fun because I think I need to do “just one more thing”.
Sound familiar? I think we’ve all been there.
And I’ve learned, each one of these is a terrific opportunity for growth if we can step beside ourselves, and look at what is really going on. See where we are pushing, pulling, or expecting more from ourselves than we ever would expect from a best friend.
When we create that small space between our minds and our actions, we open up a path straight to our hearts. Simply allowing a little space, (which truth be told widens with practice), we start to find more grace, more acceptance, and a more heartfelt connection to who we truly are. We reclaim ourselves.
By reconnecting to our hearts, we start to invite calm and trust in our own ability to ground and re-ground ourselves when life starts tossing fireworks our way.
As I come up on my sixth decade, what I realize is that the more time I give myself, the more I connect with and TRUST my heart, and the better, healthier, and happier I am in all areas of life. It’s been a journey of 59 years for me and I’m grateful to each person who led me to the understanding I have now for how to create a life that feels mostly unrushed, mostly pleasant, and very filled with confidence and trust in myself.
If you follow my work at all, you’ll know that I’ve always been about sharing what wisdom I’ve gathered. That’s really what my conversation this month with Karen Roberts was all about, and I’m delighted to share her podcast and our conversation with you here.
In our conversation, Karen and I delve into the transformative power of embracing change for personal growth. We explore the reasons why humans often resist change and we share various strategies to overcome this resistance. It was delightful to have such an engaging and insightful discussion with Karen and to have so many opportunities to provide practical tips on how we humans can align our lives with our deepest desires.
Many of you know I’m a science geek and I highlighted a fundamental biological instinct for survival that often leads to our resistance to change. The basal ganglia, (AKA: our reptilian brain), responsible for our safety and survival, tends to cling to what is familiar, whether positive or negative. Don’t hate- that’s literally its job- to be in control of our innate and automatic self-preserving behavior patterns, ensure our survival and help us make it to the next day, year, decade, etc… Overcoming this resistance requires training our entire being to understand that new experiences won’t harm us, even if they initially feel uncomfortable or challenging.
Where I really get to dig into some of my favorite subject matter is in the concept of alignment and resonance, which occur at three levels. The brain, functioning on energetic vibrations, processes information swiftly. Emotions, triggered by our thoughts, operate at a slightly slower pace and rely on chemical and electrical processes. The physical body, composed of mass, requires the most time to adapt to change. Nurturing patience during this adjustment process is crucial.
Don’t underemphasize the importance of questioning your beliefs about change and considering what truly serves you. For instance, if you wish to leave your job but fear losing your home, it is essential to challenge your assumptions. You may be surprised to discover that you have been assuming a bunch of “rules and conditions” that aren’t actually true. For example; that you wouldn’t be able to keep your current home, or that you must keep your current home, or that you can or can’t relocate. I encourage you to listen and explore various avenues for change that align with your authentic desires.
Our conversation can serve as an invaluable resource for anyone seeking personal growth through embracing change. Listeners will gain a better understanding of their own resistance to change and learn some effective strategies to overcome it. Additionally, we delve into the three levels of alignment and resonance, empowering individuals to work with these aspects for lasting transformation. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to make meaningful changes in their lives and I’m really proud of the resources and practices we offer in our conversation.
Last but in no way least, we explore some of the societal pressures that impact our self-worth. We discuss the devaluation of elders in Western culture and the detrimental effects of consumerism and patriarchy on our self-esteem.
Reconnecting with ourselves is a vital step towards experiencing wholeness and completeness. Imagine what we can change when each of us feels whole. Think of the power that gives us as a collective to create positive, human, and humane change in the world.
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